Great Expectations

My Junior year of college I met a cute guy and a few weeks later we went out on our first date.  When we walked from my apartment to his car he casually walked around and hopped in behind the steering wheel.  As I opened my door I tried not to give him his first strike, he did just drive 3 hours to take me out on a date.  The rest of our night went without a hitch and we really enjoyed getting to know each other.  A few weeks later we both set out for two different corners of the world.  He assigned us each the task of spending $5 on the other person to find the strangest gift we possibly could.  I still have the bag of beans labeled "Cowboy Bubble Bath" that only took me a few months to catch on to.  However, to settle a nine year argument, I have to say the weird monkey carved out of a coconut with dried corn teeth and glasses that is proudly displayed in our living room took the cake.  Did you catch that... our living room???  I am proud to say this man is my husband.  That first night we spent together started with a single unmet expectation, but I walked on.  I am so glad I did.  I married the creme de la creme of husbands, someone who pitches in when I am cooking, takes the girls out when I am looking frazzled, makes time for us, and so much more.  Can you imagine what I would be missing out on for a lifetime if I had begrudgingly held onto a single unmet expectation?  I must say though, eventually I told him that having my door opened for me was important to me.  In the world of three little girls in car seats at the ages of five and under this rarely happens, but when it's date night roll out the red carpet, baby, I don't lift a finger!  

This story is really about my adjustment as a Momma to three.  I honestly live on the brink of OCD.  I attempt to contain my outlandish behavior to the laundry room, but it sometimes leaks out into other rooms of the house.  I really should call my laundry room my "OCD Paradise."  In it you will find laundry sorted into beautifully symmetrical piles, the tags on the towels are all folded in and each towel is folded the same way, the hangers are sorted by type and color.  Maybe I should be embarrassed, but it really does give me a much needed OCD release.  Can you see how I might not like laying aside my expectations?  I have quickly learned, though, that holding my expectations loosely really is the best way to live.  I truly believe it is how God wants us to live.  We all get up in the morning with agendas and plans and lists to conquer.  It can be so incredibly easy to get bent out of shape and begin to feel like your day is ruined if your plans are shuffled or if something does not get crossed off the never ending to-do list.  I can not imagine that that is the way God wants us to live.  This is one thing I have been intentional in working on since Lila's birth.  With so much dependence and very little independence all under one roof I have been forced to hold my plans and ideas with an open hand.  I have to say I am far better for it.  In the last five weeks I have been more spontaneous and patient than I have ever been with my children.  I am looking for opportunities to love them, play with them, teach them about God and math and art and the outdoors.  I think we are all better for it.  I know we are all better for it.  What good is my life if I reach the end and find I have missed incredible opportunities with my children, my spouse, myself, others around us to point them to The God who really holds our agendas in His hands anyway?  I can not imagine what my life would be like if I had given up over one car door.  Our choices can alter the paths of our lives forever. Choose carefully!  My thoughts are littered, daily, with "Does this really matter?" and "Does this really matter right now?"  If the answer is no, then I ditch it and move on.  I hope in doing so that our three beauties are catching glimpses of what is really important in life, of Who is really important in life, so that down the road their choices reflect just that.  What can top the importance of living out these lessons, daily, to the ones who are watching me the most?